Wasted is when you have a hankering for ice cream.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

My hobbies are run-on sentences.

I prefer musicals, because I am the best dancer who ever lived. The best plies, the best sashays, and by far the best-smelling Capezios.

I don't laugh at me. I used to. I used to get the giggles when I'd see myself. But now, I see myself onscreen, and I sure don't laugh.

He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?