Wasted is when you have a hankering for ice cream.

I've always liked older ladies, ever since my mother would have B'nai B'rith at our house.

I'm 31 now. I think I'm beginning to understand what life is, what romance is, and what a relationship means.

Sitting in a room being forced to listen to 'The Chanukah Song' over and over." [on his idea of Hell]

I don't laugh at me. I used to. I used to get the giggles when I'd see myself. But now, I see myself onscreen, and I sure don't laugh.

When I'm around the kids I feel like I act the most grown-up just because you're supposed to. And I say things, like every other day, that remind me of my own parents.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.