Sitting in a room being forced to listen to 'The Chanukah Song' over and over." [on his idea of Hell]

I choose to ignore hell in my life. When I was a little kid I asked my Dad "Am I going to go to hell?" because I'd heard about hell. And he said, "Nothing you're gonna do will get you into hell." And so I got to ignore it.

I've always liked older ladies, ever since my mother would have B'nai B'rith at our house.

My grandmother used to embarrass me more, when she would pick me up from school wearing a big fuzzy hat. I didn't like that.

I'm not great at bedtime stories. Bedtime stories are supposed to put the kid to sleep. My kid gets riled up and then my wife has to come in and go, 'All right! Get out of the room.'

My father used to wear the same pants for like a week.

A lot of critics object to what I do, but I got into comedy to make people laugh, and I've always worked hard.