I'm black, and black don't crack. It does droop.

I want to point out, that this is not my fault that everyone's afraid of me, because I did not kill a couple people the other day.

I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.

I love it when I come across a word I don't know. And I would never treat my audience like they weren't smart enough to come along with me.

One thing we do really well on Archer and one thing I've always tried to do in my comedy and my writing and my podcast is to never speak down to my audience.

I'm just myself, so I don't know that I think of myself as a nerd icon.

I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.