Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.

If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.

My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.

And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.

I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.