I always plan dinner first thing in the morning. That's the only way I can get through the day, having a specific meal to look forward to at night.

And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.

Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.

Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.

My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.

If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.

I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.