Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.

I was a high school throw-out.

I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.

There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'

You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.

One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'

I'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.