There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'

Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.

If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.

As life's pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs. Now that's better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.

Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.