Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.

It's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.

If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.

Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.

One thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'