Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.

A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!

Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.

Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.

The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, "Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?" I said, "Fire and theft." The lawyer frowned. "Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft."

My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'

My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.