Reading Proust is like bathing in someone else's dirty water.

All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

The two oldest professions in the world — ruined by amateurs.

You haven't lived until you died in New York.

Mrs. Patrick Cambell is an aged British battleship sinking rapidly and firing every available gun on her rescuers.

There's nothing wrong with Oscar Levant - nothing a miracle won't cure.

At 83, George Bernard Shaw's mind was perhaps not quite as good as it used to be, but it was still better than anyone else's.