You can't make a souffle rise twice.

My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.

He sprang from the grass roots of the country clubs of America.

I'm the only topless octogenarian in Washington.

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

I live by three rules: I eat when I'm hungry, sleep when I'm tired and scratch when I itch.

I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.