If YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT ANYONE..COME SIT BY ME.

If you can't say something nice about someone, come and sit right here next to me.

If you have nothing good to say about anyone, come and sit with me.

My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.

Never trust a man who combs his hair straight from his left armpit.

[On Washington, D.C.:] a town of successful men and the women they married before they were successful.

[Remark about Calvin Coolidge she says was erroneously attributed to her:] I do wish he did not look as if he had been weaned on a pickle.