My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.
If you can't think of anything nice to say, come sit here beside me.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
You can't make a souffle rise twice.
I'm the only topless octogenarian in Washington.
I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.