If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.

If you can't think of anything nice to say, come sit here beside me.

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

I'm the only topless octogenarian in Washington.

[Remark about Calvin Coolidge she says was erroneously attributed to her:] I do wish he did not look as if he had been weaned on a pickle.

My specialty is detached malevolence.

I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.