If you can't say something nice about someone, come and sit right here next to me.

If YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT ANYONE..COME SIT BY ME.

I live by three rules: I eat when I'm hungry, sleep when I'm tired and scratch when I itch.

You can't make souffle rise twice.

I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.

If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.

My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.