I live by three rules: I eat when I'm hungry, sleep when I'm tired and scratch when I itch.

You can't make a souffle rise twice.

My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.

[On Washington, D.C.:] a town of successful men and the women they married before they were successful.

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.

I valued my independence from an early age and was always something of a individualist … Well, a show-off anyway.