I had moved out of the Edison Hotel because I couldn't pay the bill and was living at the Lincoln Hotel, where I couldn't pay the bill either, but it was cheaper.

Anyone who calls it "sexual intercourse" can't possibly be interested in actually doing it. You might as well announce you're ready for lunch by proclaiming, "I'd like to do some masticating and enzyme secreting."

Do not make a stingy sandwich; pile the cold cuts high; so you should see salami coming through the rye.

You may be wondering why I went from over there to over here. Well, that was choreography.

The difference between reality and unreality is that reality has so little to recommend it.

Grandma cheated whenever she could. She cheated because it was a much more scientific and surer way of winning than trusting to luck.

Love is lovelier the 7th time around.