There's Beatles books and T-shirts and rings, and one thing and another. To buy my daughter all these things, I had to sell her brother.

In Hollywood, we have some of the richest unemployed people in the world. They have sun tans. Some of them have chauffeurs in Rolls-Royces waiting outside. They have their golf clubs ready in the car. There is no law that says you cannot play golf while being unemployed.

A committee is a group of individuals who all put in a perfectly good color, and it comes out gray.

Success is like winning the sweepstakes or getting killed in an automobile crash. It always happens to somebody else.

Teacher, teacher, I declare, I see your purple underwear.

You want to fall in love with a shoe, go ahead. A shoe can't love you back, but, on the other hand, a shoe can't hurt you too deeply either. And there are so many nice-looking shoes.

I had moved out of the Edison Hotel because I couldn't pay the bill and was living at the Lincoln Hotel, where I couldn't pay the bill either, but it was cheaper.