I still get excited about meeting celebrities, because I don't think I'm a celebrity myself.

You should never meet your heroes. Paul Newman... I was so excited about meeting him, but he turned up in shell suit bottoms, slippers, and a jumper. He was just so worn out and old, he wanted to go home.

I didn't really want to be a comedian.

I still get excited about meeting celebrities, because I don't think I'm a celebrity myself.

I like old people falling over, that's what makes me laugh.

Wouldn’t that be an incredibly stupid thing to do? To say ‘I never want to smoke again’, then spend the rest of your life saying ‘I’d love a cigarette.’ That’s what smokers who use the Willpower Method do. No wonder they feel so miserable. They spend the rest of their lives desperately moping for something that they desperately hope they will never have.

I've met Nicole Kidman, Elton John, loads of people.