I didn't understand NASCAR until I met some NASCAR fans. You talk to a couple of NASCAR fans and you'll see where a shiny car driving in a circle would fascinate them all day. And I can make fun of NASCAR fans, because if they chase me, I just turn right.

Nothing good ever climbed up the side of a boat.

I wasn't always a comic, I used to do honest work.

Watching news showing all the same sex marriages. How long before first same sex divorce?

I wish airplanes were more like elementary school with someone up front telling everyone to sit down and shut up.

Black people don't hijack planes, alright? Now I'll be the first to admit, we steal a lot of stuff, but we do not hijack planes. In fact, in the history of aviation, a black person has never even attempted to hijack a plane. Do you want to know why? Because you can't sell an airplane.

I don't like conservatives. They always talk about the good old days. I'm black, we have no good old days.