The sum of religion, says Pythagoras, is to be like him thou worshipest. Had Pythagoras lived in our day he would have seen his mistake. The sum of modern religion is to make him thou worshipest like unto thyself.

A malefactor who atones for making your writing nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible.

PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.

COMMENDATION n. The tribute that we pay to achievements that resembles but do not equal our own.

FREEBOOTER, n. A conqueror in a small way of business, whose annexations lack of the sanctifying merit of magnitude.

SYLLOGISM, n. A logical formula consisting of a major and a minor assumption and an inconsequent.

Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.