The sum of religion, says Pythagoras, is to be like him thou worshipest. Had Pythagoras lived in our day he would have seen his mistake. The sum of modern religion is to make him thou worshipest like unto thyself.

LEGACY, n. A gift from one who is legging it out of this vale of tears.

CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.

NOMINATE, v. To designate for the heaviest political assessment. To put forward a suitable person to incur the mudgobbling and deadcatting of the opposition.

RETRIBUTION, n. A rain of fire-and-brimstone that falls alike upon the just and such of the unjust as have not procured shelter by evicting them.

An old wine-bibber having been smashed in a railway collision, some wine was poured on his lips to revive him.

The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forebearance among men.