I think I think, therefore I think I am.

ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Musca maledicta"). The father of Zoology was Aristotle, as is universally conceded, but the name of its mother has not come down to us.

GEOGRAPHER, n. A chap who can tell you offhand the difference between the outside of the world and the inside.

LOGANIMITY, n. The disposition to endure injury with meek forbearance while maturing a plan of revenge.

RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.

Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

PIG, n. An animal ("Porcus omnivorus") closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.