GRAPESHOT, n. An argument which the future is preparing in answer to the demands of American Socialism.

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

CAVILER, n. A critic of our own work.

Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

WHEAT, n. A cereal from which a tolerably good whisky can be made; . . . also for bread. The French are said to eat more bread "per capita" of population than any other people, which is natural, for only they know how to make the stuff palatable.

A man who piously shuts himself up to meditate upon the sin of wickedness and to keep it fresh in his mind joins a brotherhood of awful examples.

A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.