Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.

EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time as the judicial department shall be pleased to pronounce them invalid and of no effect.

Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.

Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul.