The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forebearance among men.

OATH, n. In law, a solemn appeal to the Deity, made binding upon the conscience by a penalty for perjury.

PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.

I think love is the most unbelievable, and critical, thing in civilization. Everything else is very mechanical and predictable, but love, you can't catch it.

ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke.

GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These [quills] when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an "author," there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl's thought and feeling.

KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.