The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forebearance among men.

Cynicism is that blackguard defect of vision which compels us to see the world as it is, instead of as it should be.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

An immaterial but visible being that inhabited the air when the air was an element and before it was fatally polluted with factory smoke, sewer gas and similar products of civilization.

Rhubarb: essence of stomach ache.

OBLIVION, n. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock.

Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.