Crafting is putting ideas into action and then holding them together with an inexpensive adhesive.

I don't really consider myself to be a comedian. I mean, it's not like I'm sitting around writing jokes or anything. I just like dressing up and pretending to be other people.

I've always been drawn to people with problems. Not just physical problems, but mental problems too. Like depressed people or killers, all that stuff.

Exercise your imagination muscle! How many uses can you come up with for a flowerpot? Write down your answers. But don't write them in this book. Grab a separate sheet of paper. I didn't spend two and a half weeks writing a book just so you could mark up the pages with your silly ideas for things you can do with a flowerpot. When it comes down to it, what's wrong with a flowerpot not being a flowerpot? Why is nothing ever good enough for you?

I'm not a good storyteller. I always think I'm going to get interrupted, or something's going to get edited. I think that comes from being in a large family, so you have to get your story in really quick or someone cuts you off.

Usually, the best ideas come from other people's good ideas, which then, after a short gestation period, become your ideas.

Begin your story with a sentence that will immediately grab hold of your listener's ears like a surly nun in a Catholic school.