As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.

Let's not let a few dumb things Mitt Romney said in private overshadow the many idiotic things he's said in public.

Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.

A Romney presidency will be awesome unless you're poor, sick, gay, female, Mexican or a dog.

The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.

The real news has gotten more surreal and absurd, and my fake news, if you want to call it that, has gotten more plausible. And at some point, those two trend lines crossed.

Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'