Now that we all agree contraception is a bad idea, let's take a harder look at electricity and soap.
Andy BorowitzThe real news has gotten more surreal and absurd, and my fake news, if you want to call it that, has gotten more plausible. And at some point, those two trend lines crossed.
Andy BorowitzIt would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.
Andy BorowitzChristmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.
Andy Borowitz