Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'

As popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires.

On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations.

It only cost Mitt Romney $76.6 million to defeat a serial adulterer and a mental patient in a sweater vest.

The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you have to do things so you have something to tweet about.

Facebook's new relationship status option: "No longer able to interact with actual people"

A Romney presidency will be awesome unless you're poor, sick, gay, female, Mexican or a dog.