Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'

Michele Bachmann says God made the earthquake and hurricane to punish us. Untrue - he made Michele Bachmann for that.

We invaded Afghanistan to find bin Laden. We found him in Pakistan, and we're still in Afghanistan. We need better GPS.

US Airways made an $8 billion bid for Delta, including $4 billion in cash and $4 billion in lost luggage.

Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.

Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'

White House political adviser Karl Rove was one of Robert Novak's sources for the 2003 disclosure of a CIA operative's identity, according to a story published today in "Duh" magazine.