Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part.
Andy BorowitzXmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a "religious" meaning.
Andy BorowitzLet's withdraw from Afghanistan and have the army invade America - that's the only way we'll get new schools and roads.
Andy BorowitzThe only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.
Andy Borowitz