NHPrimary Trivia: The Republican candidates have not spoken to a black person since Herman Cain dropped out.

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.

Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.

If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.

Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.

Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'