Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.

As popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires.

John Edwards is a tragic case of a man who ran for President when he should have joined the Secret Service.

Rick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy.

I make the modest proposal that psychiatric care should be as easy to get as bullets at Wal-Mart.

Welcome delegates to the 2012 Republican Convention! Remember to set your watches back 400 years.

Facebook's new relationship status option: "No longer able to interact with actual people"