The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.

Let's withdraw from Afghanistan and have the army invade America - that's the only way we'll get new schools and roads.

The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.

All Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson.

Let's not let a few dumb things Mitt Romney said in private overshadow the many idiotic things he's said in public.

US Airways made an $8 billion bid for Delta, including $4 billion in cash and $4 billion in lost luggage.

Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'