Judah Friedlander, I'm ok with you being the world champion for a few years more. That's a hook with legs. But I think he should make one more hat, that says 'there's a limit to how funny words on a hat can be'. And then move to a chapeau.

Eddie Izzard is doing his show in French... Will he be able to fake ad-lib as well in other languages? He's been speaking French for a while now, but he's talking about doing his act in German. Haven't the German people suffered enough?

The saddest day in Pixar history was when some guy said 'get Larry the Cable Guy on the phone.

If I don't believe in Jesus, maybe I don't believe in Hell. Did you ever think of that? You're so excited about it, why don't you go to Hell? It's your concept; you invented it.

Some of my inventions didn't take off. I invented a url lengthener.

There's a lot of controversy online, some people say i'm a genius and other say i'm hugely talented.

Ever since I've switched to the clean syringes, I've never felt better in my entire life.