Some of my inventions didn't take off. I invented a url lengthener.

Kevin James is going to do a couple of specials. One's called It's Getting Muggy In Here.

I was in Philadelphia - a very angry town, Philadelphia. I've never seen a town like this. It's supposed to be the City of Brotherly Love - like when my brother was 12 and I was nine, and he would lean on my shoulder and dangle spit in my face.

Adam Carolla is like Hitler if Hitler wasn’t funny.

Now we have two choices in life: have sex with the same person forever or risk a terminal disease. Either way, your life is over.

Jewish people, we don't need the money. We're doctors and lawyers. It's the Christians who can't hold a steady job and have to go on TV and ask for money.

There's a lot of controversy online, some people say i'm a genius and other say i'm hugely talented.