Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others

By the time they're ready to be thrown away, most shoes are thoroughly comfortable

Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.

The only thing that really bugs me about television's coverage is those damn women they have down on the sidelines who don't know what the hell they're talking about. I mean, I'm not a sexist person, but a woman has no business being down there trying to make some comment about a football game.

When you get older you have to be careful about always saying, "Things aren't as good as they used to be." But it's hard not to.

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

There's nothing people like better than being asked an easy question. For some reason, we're flattered when a stranger asks us where Maple Street is in our hometown and we can tell him.