If you do see me in a restaurant, please, just let me eat my dinner.

People like to say, "You're only as old as you feel," but it isn't true. It's just something old people say to make themselves feel good about their age. You're as old as you are.

I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about, I can't complain about my life.

The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.

I hate to say it, but I had a great time in World War II.

We aren't consistent in our treatment of animals.

Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn't have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.