Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We'll pick a week next year and we'll all agree not to go anywhere for seven days.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

I've learned that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries.

I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.

Don't you hate it when...your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?

Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!