We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.

Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We'll pick a week next year and we'll all agree not to go anywhere for seven days.

Art is a by-product of an honest and successful attempt to do something well.

My mother always called me 'sturdy' and said I have big bones. A little fat is what I am.

I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic calling. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.

Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.