When I write, I use an Underwood #5 made in 1920. Someone gave me an electric typewriter, but there's no use pretending you can use machinery that thinks faster than you do. An electric typewriter is ready to go before I have anything to say.

I am not retiring. Writers don't retire. Writers never stop writing.

Dogs are nicer than people.

Let's face it, though, anything that's apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn't covered by the warranty anyway, so I never send them in. If it breaks, I'll buy a new one. That's the American way.

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you.

It's best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it's requested, and when it's a life threatening situation.

No matter what any of the grammar teachers say, punctuation is an arbitrary matter. It should be used to make sentences clear.