When I write, I use an Underwood #5 made in 1920. Someone gave me an electric typewriter, but there's no use pretending you can use machinery that thinks faster than you do. An electric typewriter is ready to go before I have anything to say.

If I'd known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can't remember a single project I would have started.

I've learned... That love, not time, heals all wounds.

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.

I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.

Most college students are not as smart as most college presidents.