If you put on an item of clothing that hurts just because you have an idea it looks better or conforms to what other people are wearing, it's dumb.

If you do see me in a restaurant, please, just let me eat my dinner.

Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.

I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about, I can't complain about my life.

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you.

If you don't enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the chances are you're not going to be happy. If someone bases his happiness or unhappiness on major events like a great new job, huge amounts of money, a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to Paris, that person isn't going to be happy much of the time. If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.