The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.

You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.

Last night we had three small zucchini for dinner that were grown within fifty feet of our back door. I estimate they cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $371.49 each.

No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.

I think a draft produces a better Army than the one we would have with all volunteers, because I think you get average Americans if you have a draft. And if it's an all-volunteer Army, you get people who join up because of some problem in their own lives. They don't have anything else to do, they don't have a job, or they can't find what they want to do, so they join the Army. And it doesn't produce the best Army.

The English language is more complex than calculus because numbers don't have nuances.

In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don't want to know something, you go and ask him and he won't tell you.