I am not retiring. Writers don't retire. Writers never stop writing.

There are more beauty parlors than there are beauties.

You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.

We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.

We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.

I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

Love is more pleasant once you get out of your twenties. It doesn't hurt all the time.