I am not retiring. Writers don't retire. Writers never stop writing.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

One of my major shortcomings - I'm vindictive. I don't know why that is. Even in petty things in my life I tend to strike back. It's a lot more pleasurable a sensation than feeling threatened.

When there are starving people in the world, it seems wrong that so many of us Americans eat as much for entertainment as for nourishment.

A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?". She doesn't care what you think.

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly." ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.

The last birthday that's any good is 23.