I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.

Great teachers are usually a little crazy.

Bacon is clearly a food made by the Nazis to fatten up Americans. It has no nutritional value, is full of fat, sodium, and nitrates, and is a pathetic type of consumable made from the noblest of creatures.

I'm always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.

I've learned... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.