It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.

Flying is always an unpleasant experience. You wait an hour for every ten minutes you actually spend getting anywhere.

We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.

If I'd known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can't remember a single project I would have started.

Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.

Soap, like people, shouldn't smell like anything.

I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.