Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.

In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don't want to know something, you go and ask him and he won't tell you.

Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.

Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? 'Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is share the love.' Beep. 'Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.'

Go to bed. Whatever you're staying up late for isn't worth it.

I'd like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off

I've learned... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.