Have you noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels...I write, "Could you throw this away for me?"

The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.

A writer's job is to tell the truth.

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.

I've learned... that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.