Have you noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels...I write, "Could you throw this away for me?"

I don't know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you've taken a pill out?

Space, like Switzerland, should be neutral.

Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.

I've learned that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.