The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

People like to say, "You're only as old as you feel," but it isn't true. It's just something old people say to make themselves feel good about their age. You're as old as you are.

There is obviously a great human need for religion because life seems to be such a mystery.

In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.

Soap, like people, shouldn't smell like anything.

One of my major shortcomings - I'm vindictive. I don't know why that is. Even in petty things in my life I tend to strike back. It's a lot more pleasurable a sensation than feeling threatened.

I'm in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get fired, well, I've got enough to eat.