There is obviously a great human need for religion because life seems to be such a mystery.

Numbers are the most certain things we have.

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.

The last birthday that's any good is 23.

One of my major shortcomings - I'm vindictive. I don't know why that is. Even in petty things in my life I tend to strike back. It's a lot more pleasurable a sensation than feeling threatened.

I am an atheist... I don't understand religion at all. I'm sure I'll offend a lot of people by saying this, but I think it's all nonsense.