Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.

We aren't consistent in our treatment of animals.

A cat's idea of a 'good time' is to kill something.

I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.

The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly." ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.