When you get older you have to be careful about always saying, "Things aren't as good as they used to be." But it's hard not to.

I've learned... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.

I've learned... That money doesn't buy class.

Go to bed. Whatever you're staying up late for isn't worth it.

My mother always called me 'sturdy' and said I have big bones. A little fat is what I am.

Have you noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels...I write, "Could you throw this away for me?"

I've learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.