Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.

Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor.

As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.

I've learned... that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

If I'd known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can't remember a single project I would have started.

Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.