I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.

I've learned... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I am an atheist... I don't understand religion at all. I'm sure I'll offend a lot of people by saying this, but I think it's all nonsense.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.

My mother always called me 'sturdy' and said I have big bones. A little fat is what I am.

Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.